One morning, I woke up and smelled the sickly smell of blood in the air. "Argh!" I screamed as I entered my Mum's bedroom. There she was lying on the floor, clear as day, dead. My mind ran astray as I thought about how this could have happened. Suddenly I heard the front door slam shut! It wasn't Dad because he was in London and it couldn't have been my brother because he was at University.
I crept along the landing and there I saw a train of blood leading downstairs and to the front door. Suddenly I saw it, the nanny wasn't in her bedroom. Infact she wasn't in the house at all. Maybe it was her! I grabbed the phone and dialled 999 but for some reason there was no answer. What could I do?
I found your story full of suspense Olivia. You have used punctuation effectively and have created a dark story which is full of terror and tension. Well done, I know the class really enjoyed listening to you read this out.
ReplyDeleteMrs Prior
This is an amazing, level 5, 100 word challenge which is so powerful. it is like I am reading it out of an amazing book. Also you left it on a cliff hanger.
ReplyDeleteFrom Tomasso and Ryan
www.6d.highlawnprimary.net.
This is an amazing 100wc Olivia! I love the terror and tension. Its brilliant! Also the words, they make it really suspense. Well done!
ReplyDeleteTom D
HIGHLAWN
Wow that 100wc is AMAZING. It is full of suspense. I thought that I was going to scream my heart out. Carry on with the good work.I think you are a great writer and I bet your in green group.
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