Thursday, 1 March 2012
Sasha's 100 Word Challenge
I was walking through the bone museum. I got to a big ball of bones. It had a description under It.The bones were from one million people through out the world. I heard it shaking. "AHHHH!" I screamed. The big ball of bones started walking up and down the glass box." Oh no!" It was coming alive. I ran to another part of the museum. " I forgot the map" I screamed. I ran back to the alive bones. I stood there! I turned around for a secend. It looked at the bones again. They were all spliting up. Suddenly they turned to real humans...
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Oh that is creative and a little creepy, but in a good way. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis story is good but you could perhaps add more wow words in addition to, I liked how you used a bit of speech. Next time read over and make sure the work makes sense. Good tr. I hope to see you next time on the 100 word challenge.
ReplyDeleteFrom Joseph
Nice job! I love how imaginative it is whereas some people may only do something simple. I love how it is kind of spooky. Please read over your work to make sure that it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteFrom Emilia at www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Nice Job! I love how it is kind of spooky and is so descriptive. In addition, I like the way you used personification whith the bones walking around. Next time, read through your work because some of it doesn't make sense.
ReplyDeleteFrom Emilia
This is a really lively story opening, Sasha! I love the tension you have created with your use of short sentences. Next time try beginning your sentences in ways which don't start with 'I...'
ReplyDeleteK Tilling
Wow I love how you have built up the tension by using speech. Also it is a bit spooky and that is great. Next time try to read through your work because some of it does not make sence but your work is still amazing anyway!
ReplyDeleteFrom George at www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
that is really good sasha from elise in chestnut class
ReplyDelete