Thursday, 5 April 2012

Greg's 100 Word Challenge


Why is it so hot!?

Gleefully, I stepped out into the staggering heat. It
dried my throat. But I wasn’t going to let that ruin
my day! Good Friday! Hot cross buns and chocolate
galore! I placed my chocolate rabbit (people say I’m
too old for them) and my glass of squash on the table
and nipped to the loo. When I returned my glass was
steaming and the chocolate rabbit melted in the sun.
The heat was unbearable! My body couldn’t take it
because my skin turned red raw and my face crisped
and then to top off the pain... I fainted. And they say
Good Friday is good, it’s awful.
Posted by at 14:14
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9 comments:

  1. Mrs Prior5 April 2012 at 14:19

    It was quite nice to read about all this heat in your 100 word challenge Greg as it has been so cold this week! Some good ways of beginning sentences. Don't forget the odd comma that's needed here and there. Expressive writing from you as usual. Well done and enjoy the rest of your holidays.
    Mrs P

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  2. Sophie (High Lawn)8 April 2012 at 18:14

    Wow! This is fantastic Greg, I wish the weather was like you described in your 100WC. You have used some great openers but maybe next time you could include a few more connecitves.
    well done keep entering the 100WC!

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  3. Anonymous10 April 2012 at 15:52

    Hi Greg,

    I agree with Mrs. Prior about your expressive writing. You've used some great words such as 'gleefully' and 'crisped'. I didn't expect the horrendous heat and pain at the end, so this was a nice twist to the story! Thank you for sharing your 100WC. :)

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  4. Sasha11 April 2012 at 12:59

    Hi Greg
    I love you 100 wc! Yet again you used great words and was very expressive!!! There is no ways to change or improve the writing! Keep it up. Sasha

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  5. Anonymous13 April 2012 at 12:48

    Hello Greg,
    Whaen I read this it blew me away it was that good. I love you use of vocabulary E.G. staggering and unbearable. Also you have used level five punctuation which is great. keep up the amazing
    work!
    Why not visit us at www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
    P.S. I think yours is the best.

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  6. Poplar19 April 2012 at 13:52

    I REALLY LIKE GREGS 100 WORD CHALLANGE IT'S AMAZING

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  7. Rebecca20 April 2012 at 10:53

    Hi Greg
    I really liked your 100 word challenge!
    I think you used some great word like staggering and unbearable. You also used some good punctuation.

    Rebecca

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  8. Franny & Tess20 April 2012 at 10:54

    Hi Greg it's Franny and Tess here
    We really enjoyed your use of language such as 'nipped' and 'umbearable' and 'staggering' the only thing we would put in are a few commas but other wise AMAZING!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jess20 April 2012 at 11:08

    Hi Greg
    I love how you used the heat was unbearable.All of your stoys are amazing!

    From Jess

    ReplyDelete

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