Cautiously, I crept into the dark cave. My eyes scanned across. Nothing. I stepped forward. I was wrong. Beneath my feet lay a night dragon, (Draco nitus) it’s scaly black tail paralyzed in sleep. This was a dragonologist’s dream! “Wow!” I whispered- but I shouldn’t have. I forgot that night dragons can pick up the slightest noise. The dragon slowly stirred. I pulled out a dead ferret to tame it. It came closer. Yes! I would be the first person to tame a night dragon. As the creature gnawed on it’s food, I prepared it for flight. Writing this, I’m flying, on the tamed dragon.
Wow! Good story Rosie! I liked the way there were really short sentences - it adds suspense onto the writing.
ReplyDeleteJack B
Wow Roise this is a amazing piece of writing, when I read it is blew me away. It was so good that it blew me away from England to New Zealand. I loved your first opener which was cautiously and I liked how you have used speech to start your sentance. Also I liked how you have used some short sentences to build up tension. You have used some level five punctuation as well E.G.( ) ' and - . I think this is a amazing piece of writing and I hope you keep going and entering the 100 word challenge.
ReplyDeleteFrom you friend George at www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Rosie, this is a fantastic piece of writing and I'm delighted you have entered it into the 100 Word Challenge. I love the way you have used short sentences effectively, they really do build up the tension. You've used both a question mark and exclamation mark for effect. I also think you're ending is great, just imagine writing while flying on a dragon!
ReplyDeleteMrs Stones (Team 100WC)
That is a great piece of writing Rosie ! Congratulations. I too can feel the tension and picture you creeping cautiously towards that sleeping dragon.
ReplyDeletei have never heard of the word dragonologist is this by chance a word from 'Harry Potter?'
Miss T ( Room 1 goldfields, NZ, www.room1goldfields.blogspot.co.nz)
Actually, although I use many of J.K's ideas, no, I got the word from a great book called dragonology.
DeleteWow Rosie!!!!
DeleteThis was very impressive. I can not wait to show my class your fantastic story. I was on the edge of my seat and was enthralled as I read. Keep up the great work!
Mr G (Australia - www.mrgeijsman.edublogs.org)
Great work Rosie it's really a great piece of writing
ReplyDeletekeep up the good work
WOW I love this because it is really mysterious.:O
ReplyDeleteI think your 100WC was qite good. The dragons name was very funny and there was some good punctuation in it. Well done!
ReplyDeleteFrom Mitchell and Lucien