The chocolate bunny melted in the sun
Ah, finished. My first chocolate bunny. I worked for lint chocolate and I had just finished the world’s first chocolate rabbit, but things were about to go horribly wrong.
I wanted to show my boss my new creation but I couldn't find him anywhere so I put the delicious milk sculpture on a table right beneath the sun. I ran to the lift, ugh it was occupied. Stairs it was then. I ran to the fourth floor and knocked on my boss’s door. “Come in,” said James.
“I’ve got a new creation; I have made a chocolate bunny, smooth and creamy,” I said arrogantly. I ran down to the bottom floor and ran to the place where I had left the bunny. All that was left was a pile of brown slush.
Olivia,
ReplyDeleteFantastic entry! You've separated your topics with paragraphs, used speech, and created a character with personality! I enjoyed reading this 100WC very much. Keep writing! Mrs. Doebley, English Teacher, Ocean City, NJ, USA
Thank you for both of your comments. I enjoyed reading them because you have told me what I have done well.
DeleteThank you from Olivia at Greenfeilds.
Oliva,
ReplyDeleteWell, I'd say the bunny was still "soft and creamy!" I enjoyed reading your story very much. Thanks for your participation in the 100WC. Mrs. Doebley, Teacher of English, Ocean City, NJ, USA
Hi liv
ReplyDeleteI love your 100 wc! It is amazing. I like the idea that it was your first chocolate bunny you made and you worked for lint! Great 100 wc! Smasher x
The build up to the story was excellent! Also I really liked the way your character was so arrogant but then so dissapointed! Keep writing :) (I did an emoticon!!!!
ReplyDelete