Friday, 18 May 2012

Alex's 100 Word Challenge Week 31

The fountain

Wow I can’t believe my eyes we found what everyone has been looking for. The fountain of youth! It was beautiful, the sun made the wet substance look like glittering diamonds. “Wow!” I said speechless as I dived onto the soft bed of grass, and relaxed in the sun.

Then I tested the water on a monkey, and when I pulled him out he was gone. Then I noticed I only needed a drop. “Moby NOOOOO!” I shouted…


  1. Hi Maple!

    I love all the adjectives you put into this fabulous story!
    I also love the cliff hanger at the end.

    Next time, use lots of punctuation, to make your story more exciting!


  2. Alex,
    This paragraph was enjoyable to read. I like your simile: " . . . the sun made the substance look like glittering diamonds. To make this paragraph even more enjoyable to read, be careful about using the proper punctuation. Overall good 100WC--keep it up. (Teacher of English, Ocean City, NJ, USA)

  3. alex than was an awsome stroy mitc